getting away from him

[craez]

how the he!! do you get away from your ex when there are reminders everywhere? i can't bring myself to erase his phone number. i changed his name to Satan in my phone. And what about the internet??? he's on myspcace and has his own website. i can't make him disappear! i want him to drop off the face of the earth! i don't want ANY reminders!!!!!!!! how can i do that?!?!? stop using the computer?? and what about in the future when he WILL inevitably try to call. i want to change my number, but part of me can't stand the thought of missing a call from him.

good god. this is never going to be over. i'm going to be miserable for the rest of my life. i'm just going to cry now. i don't know what else to do. i am such a god d@mned wimp. doesn't it seem like some people get dumped and just get over it? i hate to use a celebrity example, but how did jennifer aniston function? i need to know whatever it is that she knows. life sucks @ss. i want to be like her. i want to be strong! but i'm not. ugh.

[craez]

ok. i'm replying to myself. sorry, but i'm just so depressed. i haven't gone to sleep yet and it's 6am.

after four years of being with someone, how do you cope when they just aren't there any more? you talk every day, kiss, hug, share life....and then POOF! gone? i'm just supposed to be cool with that? just curl up and go to sleep? sure. no problem! i can do that! not. by the way, why can he sleep so easily? it's not fair. i'm falling apart at the seams, and he's having a grand old time dreaming about race cars and naked chicks. or whatever guys dream about.

i hope someone devestates him like he did me. i hope he loses sleep and weight....i want him to feel deep, crippling, unrelenting emotional pain. like i'm feeling right now.

[darkrose]

Hey, need a rower for that boat? I'm in there with you.

Wife walked out on me after 4 years. We have a 3 year old, been together for almost 7. She has myspace, and I've not gone to it since before I kicked her off mine (I use mine to keep in touch with friends, nothing else really)...And it was that simple for me too, Poof, gone. Everything went to hell the last week she was with me, but she lied and smiled and said she loved me.

It's hard. I'm all alone at nights..and that's the worst. I can talk to people on the phone but that gets boring. I can't bring myself to pack up her stuff (house=premarital asset, she has no claim to it) alone, and I can't get any of my friends during the work week to come over and "help" (which means sit in my bedroom with me and make sure I don't get depressed). I've *GOT* to get her stuff taken care of..not just for me, but for her too. I can't go on looking at our wedding pictures and all that kind of stuff..but a very small part of me wants her back..but i know that's the easy way for the short term, and what *I*'m doing (filed, going for custody, living alone for a while) is going to make me a better man and is easy in the long term.

You may feel miserable now, but those wounds will heal. If you're really concerned about sleeping, go see your doctor for a sleep aid or something. I've been sleeping easier and easier as the days go by (will be 3 weeks since she left on Friday), and I find myself accepting that this is the right thing to do more and more. In my case, I simply wasn't happy but I loved her, so it didn't matter. Unfortunately, I thought that this was how it was supposed to be. That maybe we were just in a "rut" and the real sad thing was I was trying to save up some cash for a little romantic getaway..that was going to happen labor day weekend. Instead, I used (all) of that money + more to pay for a lawyer.

Things do get better.

[Crystal_Blue_025]

Hi Craez,

I'm right there with ya girl! 100%! Reminders are everywhere, and every singe reminder is a trigger to your sadness... But you have to realize that you are going to face these triggers on a daily basis... As far as the myspace thing goes, DON'T LOOK AT HIS PAGE... If you any of my past posts, you'll see I was COMPLETELY addicted to checking my ex's myspace, only to find things that I knew would hurt me (sexual comments from so-and-so, pictures of my ex and the OW, etc.) We know it's going to hurt us, yet we do it anyways, we have to get away from that! I haven't checked my ex's page in 9 days now, and I don't want to go back to day 1... I still want to, believe me I want to, right now I want to, but I'm not going to, because I know the minute I do I'll gain a moment of satisfaction, but that will be followed by complete and utter sadness and grief, and I don't need that right now... We have to remind ourselves that our exes are no longer a part of our lives, and we don't need to know what theyaer doing, becuase it doesn't matter anymore... We need to let go of any connection to their lives, as hard as that is... As far as changing your number, that's an option, or some phone companies will allow you to block certain number, you may want to consider that as well... I know you don't want to miss a call from him, but then think about what will the point of that call be? What will be the benefit of that phone call be? Probably nothing, so why put yourself more pain...

[hr]

Creaz. I sure felt like that it seems like forever ago though. It has been almost 4 months for me. I thought I was going to die inside. I am so embarrassed to say this now, but for the longest time every time my phone would ring I would run to it. It was never him. Everytime I heard a loud stereo outside I would run to the window. If a loud motorcycle would come up the steet I would search for him. I hated that I did that. It would cause the nauseated feeling all over again. I am happy to report that after a couple months that no longer happens. I am on my way. I feel so good most of the time now. You will too. I had all his things left in my house except his clothes. He left everything. I had to look at them every single day. It hurt, but it passed. So will the pain you are feeling. HUGS to you. It is going to get better. Get your feelings out. It helps.

[gpiilani]

The reminders are definelty the worst!!! After so many years, you yourself are the biggest reminder of your ex. I still have half of his stuff here, and its been three months. I am still in charge of all of our finances and I pay his cell bill (which I throw straight into the trash before I can search for late night phone calls from other women) and his bank account (which is riddled with charges from bars and casinos) as well as his email account passwords (I am proud to say I havent checked them in weeks). Like changeisgood, every time the phone rang, or i heard a car drive by, there was my dumb ass running for the phone and the window...but it does get better hun, you will start to gain memories that have nothing to do with him, and before you know it you will be YOU again, not just half of a person.
But time is going to have to pass in order for you to heal, there is no magic pill to take that will make you forget all about him tomorrow...it sucks I know. Take care.