RecoveringinDE
Guest
|
 |
« on: January 03, 2005, 11:00:50 AM » |
|
YOUR DAILY HORRIBLESCOPE –
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will discover a hair growing in an odd place. Don't worry about it, unless the odd place is your eye.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will discover that you can see people's auras today, if you squint. That should be done in moderation, however, as many people object to being squinted at.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Pinch your pennies, this week. Next week: fondling your nickels.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Good time to be happy-go-lucky! You'll find that works out a lot better than the sad-go-accident-prone you've been trying.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Would you just Stop? Nobody else feels the need to dance around like that...
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will independently re-discover an old Celtic trick, which will help considerably with an upcoming math test. In particular, you'll find that painting yourself blue may do little for your own mathematical abilities, but it will be a significant distraction for everyone else.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
You will have a completely boring, uneventful day. Then you'll go home, eat the same thing you always eat, watch a re-run, and go to bed. Then you'll be abducted by aliens, who will tease you.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
The phrase "return your tray tables to the upright and locked position" will cycle endlessly through your mind, today. It's not serious. (But you should probably consider cutting down on the honey-roasted peanuts.)
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Hug day, today. Various people you know will come up and give you a hug, for no apparent reason. You will find this moderately embarrassing.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Not an especially good day to do anything involving contact cement. At least not if you have plans to go anywhere.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Bad hair day today. In fact, it's quite likely that your hair will actually be arrested.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will tend towards simplicity in your life. The Voluntary Simplicity movement has been gathering momentum lately, so you'll have plenty of company. And heck, who cares if it's "voluntary", right?
|
Author
